01 February 2006
dont read if youre not up for anything depressing
or if you are not up for the insecure side of me
its just somethings i need to do
more than just type and then lock away
i just feel like letting others read it
for once.
i dont know i just want to
everything feels wrong
i dont know what is
its just. everything
this is just a moment when everything is going
wrong
im so tired of being stupid
people expect me to excel
their hopes placed upon my shoulders
and i really dont know what i can do
but just try to live up to their expectations
i dont work well under stress
i hate having no choice but to put in my best
im tired of working
i really am
sometimes i really wish to just jump out of all this
and drown somewhere without work
i dont know whats going on for maths
nor econs nor georg
im not lying when i say i really dont know
its just that ive lost the drive to study
somehow im like only physically there during lessons
i feel so alone sometimes
even though im surrounded by friends
its like no one understands
or no one can reach in deep enough
its all superficial words
plastic smiles
so what if you know the whole world
when you dont even know the world of any one person
if i could turn back time
i would spend my precious moments with those who matter
even if its one or two people
you know they'll stick with you till the end
and as febuary 14 draws near
thanks again for reminding me that
once again im left on the shelf
maybe it doesnt really matter
on other days its cool to be swinging single
and to be free to do whatever you like
but who can truly say that they want to be alone that night
in the mess of all those chocolates and roses
you are alone.
and no one knows the truth
they dont know the pain
and to know that you dont care makes it worse
ive stopped hoping
Posted by tocks! at 22:27